Breyerfest Prep! A Look Into My Trip Planning...

Breyerfest is literally only a month away and I don’t know about you, but I am freaking out. I am one of those people that need to have everything planned down to the last detail or my anxiety takes over completely and I dissolve into panic attacks on the side of the road with music blaring and me calling my dad hysterically over an imaginary sound in the car. However, not all of those sounds are imaginary and is a huge reason why I am freaking out this year. I do not have my car. At all. It has been down for over a year and a half now between Engine Power Reduction and a blown engine, it has not ran for more than a month at a time. But I do have a second car that is my husband’s every day truck. My anxiety over that one? Well it is a single cab! Where am I going to put things? Where am I going to sleep? I tried to ask my husband and he shrugged and said that I should sleep in the line. I asked my dad and he was like a lot of things change in a month. What is that even supposed to mean?! But I am not trying to worry. I just have not been out of the house for over two months and even going down the road might give me anxiety at this point. However, I have been making my plans!

My first plan for Breyerfest week is the NAMHSA dinner on Wednesday evening. I was super excited when a friend bought me a ticket to go to this since it also covers my membership for two years! How exciting! I thought… I decided to see if I could plot out some ideas for the event since I was asked to see what I could do about more than just interest in model horse shows. I asked a hypothetical question and expected a hypothetical answer. Things were going great until I was called attention seeking, a drama seeker, and childish. I am thinking that maybe NAMHSA is not the place for me. I do not show my model horses often, in fact my anxiety makes me crazy when I go and I spend the time hiding at my table and taking my ponies to their tables and back. I would love to see what other things could happen, but apparently that is not something that people want. I will still attend the dinner, but my ideas are not wanted and that is ok.

My second plan for Breyerfest week is on Thursday and well, that is a jam packed day full of fun. Early in the day, I will be going LIVE on the Facebook group at Equilocity and showing off what they have to offer. I hope to find at least a body there for NaMoPaiMo next year. Then it is off to the Road To Breyerfest Meet and Greet at the Cracker Barrel next door. I can’t wait to see all of my friends and spend time with them once more! From there, it is off to the Clarion of course! Shopping and friends, what more could a girl want! Of course, I will be heading to the Ninja Pit after that. I do stand in line, well sit in line, for the Pop Up Stores so that I can be guaranteed to get at least one stablemate.

And of course, Breyerfest weekend. Three days of fun and excitement and also anxiety. Surprise, I have social anxiety and I do actually want to hide when I meet people. However since running RTB, I have found that meeting people is easier and I can stand up beside them, especially when I know that I helped to get them where they are! I also have tons of anxiety about driving home. I live about an hour from the park and get to drive home every night to put my plastic ponies away, shower, take a nap, and get ready to come back. I don’t eat much and I have been forced to eat when I get home several times, but I am getting better about eating at the event.

I say all of this because I feel that people need to know that you can do these events by yourself. Even with generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety, I can attend these events by myself because there is no other way that I can attend them. My family does not support my model horse hobby. My husband is ok with me spending the money, but that is all. My oldest child is not interested and my youngest is only five. So, yes, I go alone and yes, I actually dress up to help myself feel better about it. However, the bright colors that people see me in….yeah, that is not part of my outfit. I always wear bright colors and mismatched patterns. If you see me at any Breyerfest type event, please do not hesitate to come up and say hello! I will always have a smile and an answer to a question that you might have!